Birthday Excitement

October has been a great month and although it started slow, it is ending full of hope and promise. My birthday was October 17th, a day i spent rejoicing the wonderful life that I have lived and continue to live and improve daily.

The birthday culture has spoiled us all with the birthday being a day where we look around expecting gifts, phone calls and pampering from loved ones. This year I thought of reversing this default way of thinking because of a funny incident that happened with my mother. I called her the day before my birthday and she asked me "Tomorrow is your birthday right?". After I confirmed she then asked "So what are you betting me for your birthday?". I laughed so hard and responded that it is her that should be buying me something and she had a very interesting response. She told me she gave me life and every birthday I should be celebrating all the gifts and Blessings I was given not asking for more...

From now on my birthday will be a day of giving and gratitude, I will reach out to the special people in my life and thank them for their love. It's not like i was ever a selfish sulking "it's my birthday what you gonna get me type of person" but i think the day you were born is a good day to rejoice your life and to thank those who have made it special. So to everyone who has supported me or loved me,
THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU BACK!

So on my birthday i decided to ask my mother a few questions about the day i was born. she told she was feeling the contractions on a Thursday night and was in so much pain but could not go to the hospital because it was during the war and there was a 6pm curfew. Which meant no civilians were allowed on the public streets after 6pm. People had to stay in their homes from 6pm until 6am the next morning. She suffered the whole night and at 6am a neighbor who had a car carried her to the hospital and by 8am she was holding a little baby boy, me :).

My father had been away at work as usual, between working in a mine in another country he had opened up a little store that was hours away from home where he sometimes stayed. One day when I have a child I hope i can be there when he or she is born, that would be too special to miss.

Another thing about October is that it is breast cancer month. Tomorrow I am showcasing my line at a charity event 'Fashionably Pink" to raise money for Susan G. Komen For The Cure - an organization so passionate about their cause. if you are not familiar with Susan G. Komen For The Cure please visit their website and read the story of a woman who lost her sister to breast cancer and started the organization in her name, so inspiring. I related to this organization so much that I was honored to be a part of this event, I share the same passion for charity that they do and it was so fitting. Thanks to my friend Tracy for the idea I also ended getting to actually design a custom T-Shirt for Susan G. Komen For The Cure to help raise money for them. So I am proud to show you the Bless By Bless Couture Susan G. Komen For The Cure 'We are fighters!" Breast Cancer t-Shirt. Whew that was a long name for it haha.



I spent a lot of time wondering what i was going to do for a design until it hit me, I had to draw something. I felt a hand drawn image would make it feel personal and fitting for the cause and the passion both the foundation and l shared for charity. So I draw a pencil sketch of a heart with an arrow, this represented both the love (the heart) and the fight (the arrow) that Susan G. Komen represents. I was happy with the outcome and they were thrilled.

If you would like to support the breast cancer cause please buy one of these t-shirts, $10 from each shirt is donated directly to Susan G. Komen For The Cure. The t-shirts will be for sale on October 27th on www.blessbybless.com.

Okay that's it for now, happy birthday to me and a sincere thank you to all of you for reading this and for supporting me. My goal for my 33rd birthday was to give and hopefully this design will keep giving with your help.

Love B
Designer Bless By Bless Couture
www.blessbybless.com

Hope! Faith! Love!

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Lessons ....

Hi again! Yes I am back after a month or so hiatus.

A few months back I sign on to create and produce an event for local charities from the two places I call home, Boston and Mutoko, Zimbabwe. I came up with this great plan to create a black tie event where people could come and dance, drink, laugh and give in the name of charity.

When I started planning the event I thought it would be easy I would have numerous people to help me and we would all work tirelessly and create a great event and raise tonnes of money. two weeks before the event I found myself sitting in the office alone, with hardly any sponsorships and absolutely no tickets sold. At first i panicked and felt very overwhelmed, I even went through a few moments of bitter resentment at how all my loved ones had not offered their help.

Then as I always do I jumped out of my skin for a few minutes and realized we all have things to do, we all have dreams, we all have problems and obstacles. With that realization I understood that all he people I was expecting to help probably were sitting somewhere alone thinking to themselves "where are all my loved ones when i need them?" To top it off as usual i was also guilty of not having specifically asked any of them "Can you help me do ......" so how can blame them.

Soooo, after that little by myself meeting I got motivated. I have never failed at anything I set out to do so I realized this was just another hurdle I could leap over with hard work. I said a little prayer and as usual asked God "Just do this for me and I promise....". Right after my prayer I remembered that I had posted a form looking for volunteers, so I check the email which was separate from my regular email. To my surprise right there in my in box lay 24 emails with names, emails and phone numbers of people who had read about my event and wanted to help me. 'Thank you God that was quick!!!" i whispered to the ceiling. It was as if i was running up a steep hill in a marathon and just as I told myself I couldn't go any further, I look up and see the finish line flags rising on the horizon...."I can do this"

The next few days I was awe of the complete strangers that came into my office for interviews and all said " I am all yours, what do you need me to do?" I have helped in many ways in my life but I have never just volunteered and showed up to help a stranger, the closest is when I go help friends. I was so grateful and I kept telling everyone to the point where they probably thought I was a tid bit off haha. To cut a long story short out of the 20 about 10 showed up for interviews and 6 of those stood by me till the event was over. They gave me their time and resources without pay or compensation, it was a life changing experience. Right there I decided every other month i would offer a few hours of my time to someone in need. I think we should volunteer a few hours of our time every once in a while. We can't always give money or material things, but we can always give time, skip a movie help children in need every once in a while, you can change your city, community, you can change the world.

Anyway 4 days before the event the production was all in place, we had a great fashion show lined up featuring design work by Micheal Kors, Vera Wang, Giovanni Valentino and my line Bless By Bless Couture. We had models, we had food and we had complimentary drinks but we only had 15 tickets sold. We needed to sell up to 150. I received phone calls of canceling the event, I received calls of hurricane threats for the event date but something told me there was no turning back. No retreat no surrender. Just from the people I had brought together, the sponsors we had walked the streets and solicited I felt we already had reason to celebrate the power of love that a few people had demonstrated. So i was determined to go on with the event even if it meant just having a great time with the volunteers, a few friends and some of my business partners who were helping me.

On the day of the event heavy rains poured but by 9:30 we were almost at capacity. The event went smoothly, people came out in numbers to party and dance in the name of love. It was everything I thought it would be. Although we lacked cash donation from corporate sponsors we received many auction items and sold many tickets. The total amount raised was over $6000. considering we did this in two weeks with just me, my partner and volunteers it was amazing. At first I was concerned with the amount we would raise until I realized the lesson and the unity I had seen from strangers was worth more than the money. I say this because the selfless dedication of these people will raise thousands of dollars and help change lives regardless of when and how.

The event was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Once I signed on I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. From the two charities that expected money, the sponsors that made contributions and expected exposure, my own expectations for myself and my reputation all hung a heavy cloud of stress above me. I fought and I fought hard and learned so much and that first major charity event will forever be one of my best accomplishments. I say this because all the others will be so much easier and I will have so much more help now that I have shown my capabilities.

Lessons:
1. I will volunteer every few months by giving my time to strangers in need.
2. I will never give up on a dream or goal even when all hope seems lost.
3. I will always have hope and faith that love can overcome all obstacles, any at all!

I thank everyone who helped, attended or sponsored this event, it meant the world to me and I am forever grateful. I love you all!

Bless
Bless By Bless Designer
www.blessbybless.com
Fashion For Life

Here are a few pics of the event. By Photographer Douglas Despres except for the last 5 images by James A. Harding

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Just Let Go....

For as long as I can remember I have a hard time letting things go. From drawings, notes, shoes, clothes to letting go off feelings of hurt or love. I always keep, keep and keep.

Letting go is essential in so many ways in life. One of the best examples I know that illustrate the need to let go is this. Have you ever watched a child playing with a toy and then suddenly they spot a ball or something else that sparks their interest? Most children will do what we all do as adults today, they will try to grab that ball so they have both, the toy and the ball, because mentally you have convinced yourself one is not enough. In the child's case, on most occasions, they will fail to grab both because their hands are too tiny and fragile, so after trying several times they will choose one and be happy with having just the one.

As adults we all have hard times letting go of something we no longer need, or something we know is harming us in some way, so we hold on. Every time I buy a computer to design my clothing on I don't get rid of the old, in case I need it one day and also because I don't remove all my designs and data from it so I cant get rid if it. So I have about 5 computers but I only use one and a half. I do the same thing in relationships I have such a hard time erasing the data and this stunts any growth. By data I mean I have a hard time moving on from disagreements, arguments and other negative things that occur.

Just last week as I finished my catalogue that has been in the making for three years I realized he only way I succeeded to finish was because I removed all the designs that I didn't get a "Wow!" over. I love every single design I create but I had to learn to let some go so I can let the trully strong ones shine.

Here is the cover of my catalogue it should be online in a week or so, please check it out and see my entire collection.



One of the reasons we as people cheat, lie, become selfish, envious, jealous and more is because we are not happy with what we become dissatisfied with what we have and want to reach for more. It is okay to reach for more, but not until you have let go that which is no longer enough.

In the past few days I have reaching deep inside and pulling out the seeds of contempt that I had towards my father for my childhood. I label them contempt because it's not hate, it was more a dislike of the path he chose and still chooses when it comes to being a father. I have been cleaning out the closet and trying to love him with no contempt like I once did when he would let me sit on his lap and pretend to drive. That was just before I turned 6 and he dropped me off at boarding school, forever!

Whether or not I can repair our relationship I don't know, but in life we always want to make sure we show and tell those we love exactly how we feel so they can choose with a full understanding of your position.

Today I let go, or should I say am trying to let go. It's just that easy to start healing...

Hope! Faith! Love!

Bless
www.blessbybless.com

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Still Chasing

It's still Sunday (almost midnight) and I am still working chasing dreams. I am about to finish for the day, I feel I have cleared away some of the heavy cloud of doubt that I wrote of hanging over my head earlier.

In times of true hardship the only medicine for me is to reach to my passions, the things that make me feel at peace within myself. My passions (besides my mother) are writing and designing, when I am sad i can trust exercising either one of those helps me express myself to the point where I realize that I am truly blessed and should be happy with what I have.

After my tough start today I have been designing all day, saying little prayers of hope and talking to my mom (yes I speak out aloud to her and yes she hears me), well at least that's what i believe. I think that officially makes me insane in most people's opinion :) but that's how I survive.

I am very excited about my latest sweat shirt design, I have always been a firm believer in honor, love and mercy, for I think those things make you strong and noble. Dishonor, hate and revenge make you feared but not loved or respected. I rather be loved and respected than feared and hated.

- Honor before Dishonor. Always do the honorable thing, dishonor breeds disgrace.
- Love before Hate. Always choose love over hate, hate is a parasite that eats the hater most.
- Mercy before Revenge. Mercy is mistaken as weak, never revenge it makes you wrong too.

So here is my 1975 HLM (Honor.Love.Mercy) Sweat Shirt Hood


Copyright Bless By Bless Couture 2008

If I didn't have tough days I would never be never motivated to do what I love or what I believe in. So i guess I have to be grateful that things are the way they are, that even the toughest of moments can be used to create light, that we can follow to better days.

Hope! Faith! Love!

Bless

blessbybless.com

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Chasing Dreams

Today is sunday one of my favorite days of the week for a few reasons: 1. I feel like on Sunday's people are a little more laid back and not so on edge. 2. I always work the least on Sunday's, I work 7 days a week ( feels more like 12 days ). 3. My anxiety is at it's lowest because my phone rings less and most of my clients and business associates don't call me for deliverables.

Today however is not a typical Sunday for me, yes I am working but my mind is not at peace,
I feel a deep dark cloud above my spirit, it's so heavy I can almost feel it. Every once in a while I think we all feel like we can no longer take it, we feel we have tried so hard for so long, stayed so strong and yet we feel life is cheating us. We feel life is too unfair, A BIT TOO MUCH TO BEAR!

From the moment I woke up I felt as if I had just lost something I really loved, it feels as if I lost something i cannot replace but I am not sure what it is. Today I am questioning all the hours i spend on my laptop designing, creating, secluded from the outside world. Today I am thinking of how hard it is to chase dreams, how easy it is to get lost chasing your dream. Sometimes we begin chasing our dreams and then we run right past them running after an imaginary ghost that looks like our dream.

I have always dreamed of being re-united with my mother and yet for that to happen I had so many goals I had to accomplish first, so both her and I could be re-united in a happy comfortable life. It brings tears to my eyes that I haven't seen her in almost 8 years, it pains me and weighs really heavy on my heart. All the help I try to give her, the 2 hour phone calls cannot compare to how I could re-awaken her spirit if she saw me again. The last time I saw her she wiped the tears from my eyes as I said good-bye and told me "Don't cry, I will see you soon" and now 8 years have passed. At this very moment I would give up everything I have worked so hard for just to look into her eyes and watch her laugh like she always does when she sees me or hears my voice on the phone.

We all make sacrifices in life so we can get what we want or help those we love, I have made many sacrifices in my life, the biggest was leaving my home to live in a foreign place where I didn't know a soul, so I could help myself and those I love. Today however I have a heavy heart and a heavy feeling that I have run so hard after my dream I went by it. So today I am turning around to retrace my foot steps, I am going to remember that the ones I love and that love me, are the reason I chase my dream.

I am a big believer in chasing dreams, for in our darkest moments that's all we have and that's what gives us the power to have hope that we can rise and turn a dream into reality. I have watched many of my dreams come to reality and I still have many more but as I chase them I must remember not to run so fast that I don't experience the love, beauty and blessings that my life already has.

As you chase your dream remember to stop every few miles and; gaze at the flowers, listen to the birds make music, make a child laugh, give a friend a hand, thank God for all you have, be grateful, make a new friend, listen to other's needs and spend time with those you love the most. For one day you will catch your dream and look around and you will be alone or you will forever chase a ghost and run past all that matters.

I love you and miss you Annastasia.

Hope, Faith & Love!

Bless
www.blessbybless.com

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What Do You Stand For?

It's Thursday and my head hurts, another one of my grueling days at the office where I spend at least 13 hours of my day, lately more like 24.

I saw a newspaper ad earlier that stated "What We Stand For", so in retrospect I asked myself,
'What Do I Stand For?". Strangely enough I had to think about that, what do i stand for? A question we should all ask ourselves ever so often to make sure we are fighting for what we represent and what we love.

So I Started to write a list and I wanted to share it on my blog. By the way I am very excited that I have been getting so many emails from people with comments or asking when I was posting a new one :). How flattering! Thanks to everyone who reads my blogs.

Anyway enough of my a$* kissing haha, no seriously, here it is:

I Stand For Love

I wake up each day wishing I could do everything with, wishing I could look at everyone with love, that would make me such a better person. Today a man begging on Newbury Street for spare change annoyed me, he continually yelled "can you help me out man!". Annoyed I ignored him, but right after I realized what is he wasn't going to spend it on drugs, what if he really needed to eat. Even if he was a drug abuser does that make him any less of a man than me? I went back outside and he was gone, but I am sure I will see him again and when I do I will look at him with love, even if I don't give him a dime, just love. For a human being to resort to lowering themselves to the ground and begging it speaks of an unquestionable surrendering of ones will to fight for yourself, so drug addict or not I feel for any homeless person.

I Stand For Equality

I stand for fairness in all aspects of life. I have been in positions where how I looked, what I represented or just for no reason, I was not treated with respect or fairness. I remember when i was 12 years old my family and I took a trip to South Africa for a vacation. We had been driving for about 8 hours plus with no meal so we decided to pull over at a restaurant. Besides stopping for gas this was our first stop since coming into the country, so we were all very excited, not mention "food!".

There was about 12 of us in the Volkswagen Minibus and yes all immediate family haha. Anyway, we walked into the lobby of the restaurant and all of sudden the clatter of shiny knives, forks, the tings of wines glasses and the voices of diners speaking over the next table immediately stopped!!! It was as if someone had just shot a gun and threatened to shoot anyone who dared to move.

So the host comes round his podium and whispers to my father, I didn't know what words were exchanged but father nodded quietly and next thing I know we were back sitting in the minibus. "We can only buy take-out" he said, "everybody we are getting burgers?". The explanation behind the whole situation is people of my skin color were not allowed to dine in at that restaurant. How sad, the saddest thing was how we all accepted it, yes because are a pretty passive family, but also because it wasn't that much of a surprise. Also sadly, this was in 1988 roughly, one would think this happened in 1967.

So yes I stand for equality, no person no matter how rich, how educated, how smart, how talented, how beautiful is better than me, NO ONE! In the same way I am not better than any person no matter how poor, how uneducated, physically unattractive or mentally challenged they are. Those who think and act as if they are better than the rest are usually stuck up and wondering why they are alone. Those who think others are better than them or that they are inadequate are usually insecure and victims of the self proclaimed "better". Many people may have better talents, better jobs, better looks or even better lives but as people we are all the same. I stand for equality!!!

I Stand For Serenity
I am serene in most situations. Even if someone scares me from behind me, or a real frightening part in a horror movie I remain serene, but inside however, I freak out, but you could never tell.

Serenity stops us from saying things we will regret only a few minutes later. We all get caught in the heat of the moment, we will swear, insult, degrade or some cases physically act out, "it's only natural" most say. Mmmmm i don't really agree. Many times in life we get used to calling each other names, cussing, verbally or physically abusing each other and it acceptable becaus we were upset.

I think serenity shows true love and respect for someone, when you can be so upset but still look at that person and respect them as a human being is so powerful. Most times we hurt each other in life we do it unintentionally, we do it from our own short comings, our own weaknesses and not from a desire to hurt another person. So with that in mind it's only right to be understanding, to stay calm and poised and not say regretful things, to be serene.

The best part of being serene is that staying calm and collected reduces our own stress, so in the worst situation if we are able to stay together we do ourselves the best favor. I look around and there is so much anxiety, stress and anger and like they say "90% of the things we worry about or irrelevant" to our future.

I Stand For Hope & Faith

I will keep this one simple, anything in life can be achieved or overcome with hope and faith. Like the Bible says, we only need faith the size of a mustard seed, so in other words faith is so powerful we don't need much at all. No matter what religion you are I think you will find that faith and hope are important in life.

When I boarded a plane in Zimbabwe to a destination 12810 kilometers all alone barely 18, i had hope and I had faith that no matter what came my way I would overcome. We do so many things out of faith in our everyday life but it is automated so we don't realize how much we really have and if only we had a little more or applied the faith that we already had to our goals, our relationships, our jobs and our beliefs. Something as quick as crossing the street requires faith and hope. We have faith and hope we will make it across, so we do it without even thinking, on cell phones, on bikes, laughing and even in between cars. Imagine if we had that confidence in our relationships: faith to let go and be ourselves, faith to know what relationships to walk out of because we know we can do better, faith to know we will make it and find true love , and easily too.

Enough said I stand for faith because it makes things possible, its faith that I am here writing this blog on a computer, a lucky little boy from Mutoko Zimbabwe. To give you an idea here is a photo that could of been me as a kid, it actually is a pic from Mutoko.


This photo is of kids in Mutoko, actual place I grew up. It's by a great photographer named Ernst Schade Website: www.ernstschade.com I love his work.

Anyways faith can take us places, just look in the mirror and realize that you were once a thought, then that thought turned into hope, then that hope was backed by faith between a man and a woman that they could create a beautiful child, and there you are now, a manifestation of hope and faith.

There are many more things I stand for but I am out of time and I think you are too in this busy world, get to work!!!

Oh! Oh! I Stand for many more other things like ice cream, whipped cream, mango and shortbread cookies but I wont get into that :)

"What Do You Stand For?" What ever it is fight to represent it more each day,
and just maybe one day we will all be perfect hehe.

Hope! Faith! Love!

www.blessbybless.com

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Simplicity: A Curse In Disguise ( water is life )

A few minutes ago I was thirsty and thought to myself: do I walk next door to the Poland Springs cooler and get a cup of water or, do i go buy a shaken iced tea from Starbucks downstairs from my office. A common debate I go through more than 4 times a day, after all we are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day.

While sipping my shaken iced tea with cream i pulled out my phone card and called my mom.
She answers the phone in a low dragged out "hahlooow", she usually sounds like that when she is half asleep or if something is bothering her, but it was neither this time, she cheers right up knowing it was me :)

She hears me sucking the tea through the big wide straw and asks what i am drinking and I tell her tea. She then tells me how she is so tired because she just spent the last few hours filling
buckets with water before the city shut it off the water supply, they only turn it on for two hours a day, mostly 4am - 6am. For those who don't know my mother lives in Zimbabwe.

Okay let me get to the point.

When I am thirsty i am confronted by many choices
1. What do I want to drink?
2. Where do i get it from?
3. How much of it do I want?
4. Can i put whipped cream on it?
5. With or without ice?

I could go on with all the choices I have to make. Now I will switch the scenario to choices I was once confronted with when I would visit my mother as a child, a scenario some of my relatives still live in today. Bear with me I know this is getting long.

1. There is no tap to turn on, no running water, no Starbucks and no hallway water cooler.
2. There are no flavors to choose, no whipped cream options & no barista to serve you
3. The is no refrigerator to walk to, no ice tray and no convenient store with bottled water.

Thats is such a tough situation even to imagine.

My life today is simple, when I am thirsty I get up and go and get something to drink. I remember picking up empty 10 gallon tins that once had cooking oil, but were now water buckets and walking a few miles to the well with my mother. To me it was fun because I knew after a few days I would return to my father where we had water, bath tubs, refrigerators, soda pops and more, but to my mother this was survival. Once at the well we would wait in line make small talk with other villagers who were also filling up their water buckets. The first time I went to the well I was horrified I looked into the well to fill my small bucket and I saw "things"swimming in the water, tadpoles and other little "things". I squirmed and looked at my mother who laughed and told me "get out the way spoiled brat!". The trip back to her huts was not as fun carrying the full bucket.

So when I was thirsty I would take a cup and scoop water out of this bucket, always looking in the cup as I drank in case a tadpole swam into my mouth. I know the word "gross" is crossing some of your minds. When it was time to bath there was no shower or bath tub, I would take another trip to the well and heat the water on a fire. Then I would carry the bucket into a little roofless bamboo hut, lather my towel with soap, wash my whole body then rinse myself off scooping water from the bucket with my scooped hands. My favorite part was when I was done and there was still some warm water in the bucket, I would pick it up and pour it over my head, aaaaah!

Many of my friends and relatives live that life today, my mother wakes up every morning at 4am when the city turns the water on for two hours, to fill up her water buckets - gues that's better than when she used to walk to the well. Then she goes back to bed and wakes up with enough water to water her greens, bathe, and cook for the rest of the day. I on the other hand don't drink tap water, it tastes bad, the news says it has traces of drugs, it's not cold enough and so on and so on!!!

Life is so simple when I am hungry I eat, thirsty I drink, tired I sleep in a comfortable bed and yet I find myself stressed out over so many little things, when all I need I have.

We all have so much yet we all claim we have nothing, feel we have nothing. Being born in such a simple life where it's almost like we have a remote control to everything, we never have to think of not having anything. Simplicity is a curse I feel, it takes away from knowing what life really is, what we have and what it means. Simplicity disguises everything we are supposed to be grateful for.

Today I thank God for the tea I just drank, I am grateful that I had the option to have ice in it, to have cream, to have sugar. I remember waking up to milk my mom's cow for milk in our breakfast tea. Some days we would be late and the cow would have no milk because the calf would of go to it before us, so tea would be black and there wasn't a gas station or convenient store down the street.

Be thankful for water today, defy simplicity ( that disguises what we have) and rejoice in the blessings that flow through taps, stores and bottles everyday.

Bless
www.blessbybless.com

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