Chasing Dreams

Today is sunday one of my favorite days of the week for a few reasons: 1. I feel like on Sunday's people are a little more laid back and not so on edge. 2. I always work the least on Sunday's, I work 7 days a week ( feels more like 12 days ). 3. My anxiety is at it's lowest because my phone rings less and most of my clients and business associates don't call me for deliverables.

Today however is not a typical Sunday for me, yes I am working but my mind is not at peace,
I feel a deep dark cloud above my spirit, it's so heavy I can almost feel it. Every once in a while I think we all feel like we can no longer take it, we feel we have tried so hard for so long, stayed so strong and yet we feel life is cheating us. We feel life is too unfair, A BIT TOO MUCH TO BEAR!

From the moment I woke up I felt as if I had just lost something I really loved, it feels as if I lost something i cannot replace but I am not sure what it is. Today I am questioning all the hours i spend on my laptop designing, creating, secluded from the outside world. Today I am thinking of how hard it is to chase dreams, how easy it is to get lost chasing your dream. Sometimes we begin chasing our dreams and then we run right past them running after an imaginary ghost that looks like our dream.

I have always dreamed of being re-united with my mother and yet for that to happen I had so many goals I had to accomplish first, so both her and I could be re-united in a happy comfortable life. It brings tears to my eyes that I haven't seen her in almost 8 years, it pains me and weighs really heavy on my heart. All the help I try to give her, the 2 hour phone calls cannot compare to how I could re-awaken her spirit if she saw me again. The last time I saw her she wiped the tears from my eyes as I said good-bye and told me "Don't cry, I will see you soon" and now 8 years have passed. At this very moment I would give up everything I have worked so hard for just to look into her eyes and watch her laugh like she always does when she sees me or hears my voice on the phone.

We all make sacrifices in life so we can get what we want or help those we love, I have made many sacrifices in my life, the biggest was leaving my home to live in a foreign place where I didn't know a soul, so I could help myself and those I love. Today however I have a heavy heart and a heavy feeling that I have run so hard after my dream I went by it. So today I am turning around to retrace my foot steps, I am going to remember that the ones I love and that love me, are the reason I chase my dream.

I am a big believer in chasing dreams, for in our darkest moments that's all we have and that's what gives us the power to have hope that we can rise and turn a dream into reality. I have watched many of my dreams come to reality and I still have many more but as I chase them I must remember not to run so fast that I don't experience the love, beauty and blessings that my life already has.

As you chase your dream remember to stop every few miles and; gaze at the flowers, listen to the birds make music, make a child laugh, give a friend a hand, thank God for all you have, be grateful, make a new friend, listen to other's needs and spend time with those you love the most. For one day you will catch your dream and look around and you will be alone or you will forever chase a ghost and run past all that matters.

I love you and miss you Annastasia.

Hope, Faith & Love!

Bless
www.blessbybless.com